The Anger Tool Box

(Mostly serious & lengthy Blog with some Humor thrown in as a coping mechanism).... Being a parent is tough. There are no manuals, no trouble shooting guides, no repair shop for the things that are "broken". Every pregnant mother, and expecting father, along with their families Pray for one thing (well the good ones do) that the baby is HEALTHY. For all intents and purposes, my son was born "healthy". He didn't have Downs, Didn't have cerebral palsy, no birth defects whatsoever. He was a freakin cute baby(not just being biased). He was an even cuter Toddler. It was when he was a toddler that we started noticing some concerns. He was a TERROR. I'm not talking typical terrible twos here. Just way out there. We thought that maybe it was just us. So we tried to get some help with behavior modifications. Nothing doing. This Psychologist thought maybe he had ADHD. I was diagnosed with this as a teen, and so does half the population of children these days. I was skeptical. And he was not even 3 yet. There was no way I was medicating him. We just dealt. So... Jump forward a few years (a little over 2) to Kindergarten. We kept having problems. Nothing worked. And he just seemed to be getting worse. He is a sweet, loving, funny, outgoing, compassionate kid. But sometimes, he isn't. AT ALL. He is a totally DIFFERENT kid. (Can someone else parent this Other kid I don't know? I want MY kid) Another psyc told us the same thing. Wanted to Medicate. And I was SOOO not down with what he wanted to put him on (after meeting the kid ONCE for 30 mins). Lets just say, we never went back there. Again we dealt. Anyway... UGH. We were told ADHD, Opposition Defiance Disorder... and because of family history, possible Bi-Polar Disorder. No one wanted to diagnose bi-polar on a 6 year old. The testing wasn't conclusive. Blah Blah Blah, Try Meds finally. It helped. A little. It helped the ADHD symptoms, the hyperactivity... The focus. To an extent. Now, we are on Med Number 3. again, it helps. A little. I HATE THIS. I HATE putting his poor scrawny little body through this. But I am at a loss. Now things are getting worse as far as extreme behaviors go. Throwing Chairs (computer chairs) Kicking car windows, biting, death threats, bludgeoning me in the back of the head with a water bottle while I'm driving( NO YOU ARE NOT CHUCK NORRIS dude)... you name it, he's done it. And probably more than you can imagine from a 7 year old. Its looking like NOW after all this time, someone is CLOSE to FINALLY diagnosing him with Bi-Polar. Not an easy thing for a parent to digest. and not only bi-polar, but more, and not sure. Because and I quote "...a tough one. He doesn't FIT into any one category. He has traits from several. He is going to be a hard child to parent" She even brought someone in to double check that he WASN'T autistic because of some of the traits.

*deep Breath* (please feel free to take an intermission and grab a snack. Preferably a cupcake ;)
This is my SWEET BOY. My mamma's boy. The hugger. WTH?!!! It makes me cry. A lot. And here is the thing. When you are in public and things like this happen. The rages, the tantrums, the kicking and screaming and punching. The DIRTY LOOKS don't FREAKIN HELP!! If he was physically disabled, or had an obvious birth defect that someone could see, it would be accepted. You wouldn't look like a crappy parent. One that cant control their kid. People wouldn't say things like "she should get control of her kids". I want to punch those people in the Jugular. Seriously. He cant help it. Its not his fault. It doesn't excuse the behaviors, but what can you do? I think of all the yelling, the punishing, the grounding, the time outs. And I cry. Because all this time we have been expecting him to behave like a "normal" child. Like every other 7 year old we've known. We thought he was just being a pain in the ass. (sorry but that's how we felt). NOW. we have to totally change the way we see our son. How do you do that? How can you change your view of them and what you can expect from them. Lowering behavioral Standards so to speak.
So he is a VERY LITERAL child. He learns by seeing things and having something Tangible to do. I wanted to come up with something for him to do to help control the rages. So I made Him THIS:




Inside it will have a Stress Ball, a book, a DO NOT DISTURB sign, happy pictures of our family, and a Timer, so he can use it to breath and calm himself. Any other suggestions for the box would be welcomed. This is the only thing I could think to do. Anything to help. I hope it works.