Wanna Ride Bikes?

Ever Heard that Joke? Heheh. If not, sorry, its an ADHD joke and I wouldn't want to offend any one. Oh who am I kidding?!! I don't care : How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?

"Wanna Ride bikes?" *she says looking away absentmindedly*

HAHAHAH!!! Funny right? And oh so freakin true. Only in our case today it was :How many 7 year old kids with ADHD does it take to learn how to ride a bike?

"What kind of bug is that? I have to blow my nose. Look at the rock on the ground. I'm thirsty, what was that sound?"

Yep you heard right, my 7 year old still has yet to learn how to ride a bike. Why? Not for lack of trying. Although, we did give up for a while just to save our sanity and to prevent him from getting hit by a car or running into a parked one. This was WITH training wheels people. Yeah. The kid couldn't look straight ahead. He actually showed interest in Riding today *GASP* and asked to take the training wheels off. Might have something to do with the fact that he is grounded from Video games, but I'll take it. SOOOOO Today we took the training wheels off!! It was an adventure. No broken limbs or gaping flesh wounds. So all in all, a good time. He actually did pretty well for his first day sans training wheels. I'm pretty proud. Thank you Adderall. Although, the above made up joke... about the bugs and such? Yeah that was today. Even on the meds! lol That's my BOY!!! And his poor scrawny body (probably partly due to the wonderful Adderall) had a hard time with the whole pushing of the pedals. Skinny skinny gamer child *shakes head*. Little sister didn't help much trying to RAM into him every chance she got on her little trike. Such a little snot! lol We still have a lot of work to do to get him able to ride on his own. Without us there to catch him. And to learn how to TURN. But good day none the less. I even let him fall a couple of times so he could learn how to catch himself. THAT was actually kinda hard. But like I said, he came out IN TACT so no harm done. Right?

Another Milestone tomorrow. Baby girls first day in "preschool" aka Childcare. I'm freaking out a little. This is my BABY. And its making me want ANOTHER baby cause she is growing up too fast. But I don't WANT another baby really, so I'm just going to have to suck it up and cry in private. Plus she needs to go so I can go back to school full time (next week EEK), and she needs some interaction with other kids now that she is almost 4! Time to cut the cord a little huh? It's bad. The only people who have ever babysat my kids are our parents and a close friend or 2 a hand full of times. And by hand full I mean I can probably count them on one hand. Really. I'm a little nuts like that sometimes. I blame the military life. Really, it can't be me. Its just that we aren't USED to people being around to count on so we count on ourselves. So, like I said. TOTALLY the fault of the MIL life. Anyway, Wish me luck tomorrow. Hope she has a good day and she can pry me off of her when its time to leave. Its supposed to be the other way around. I know. So sue me.

Somethings Gotta Give

I'm exhausted. And totally at a loss. I have no idea how this whole ME going back to school thing is going to work. I mean, its HAS to. Plain and simple. But friggen A. So far I am STILL waiting to find out if my son can get into SAS (School Age Services). It's before and after care. Well apparently when a kid has ADHD its like a whole PROCESS. A board has to meet to decide if they are fit for care. WTF ever. Seriously? There are soooo many kids these days with that diagnosis. Why make it more difficult? OK so He has some more problems than just ADHD, but we wont get into that right now. I just cant handle thinking about that too at the moment. But as a parent of a very difficult child, Im just wondering "Why Make my life more difficult?". Just let the kid in already. Because now I have to have a back up plan. Yeah, when you don't live anywhere near family, and have no friends, that's not exactly easy to do thank you very much. Oh and if he DOES get in, he is on a 30 day "trial period". What?! So if he gets in trouble he is done? Well we are screwed then cause baby, 30 days with no trouble? That would be a miracle. I'm worried enough about his days being longer and him being able to have good days when there is an extra 4 hours he has to behave. And the meds will wear off while he is there... *shakes head* sips wine* yikes.
Lets move on to reason number two that this is going to be a roller coaster ride. I am the worlds most unorganized person. Seriously. You don't want to see my house. I don't even want to see my house. The number one reason I am lookin at the computer screen instead: Your Blogs are much prettier than my living room. Oh did I say living room? I meant laundry basket. Cause that's where all the clean clothes go for the rest of their days as clean clothes. They rarely make it to the closets. I am known to be running around the house last min trying to find a sock, or a shoe for one of the kids. Oh and where the hell are my keys!!? "Adrianna!!!! Where is my LIP GLOSS?!!". Damnit I need to iron pants! Ugh. And seriously, I have LITERALLY had to take a pair of underwear for my son OUT of the WASHER and IRON them dry so the kid didn't have to go commando to school. Yup, I'm a slacker. SOOOOO not your Wonder MOM. The opposite of domestic Goddess. I never imagined I would be this way. And my escape is supposed to be going back to school?!! Somehow I think this will backfire. Ok most definitely it will. Do they hypnotize people into organized human beings? Because if so, COUNT ME IN!! I would like my entry way to look like this:

My Pantry This:

My closets This:

With everything in its place (that of course would mean things HAD a place, not just wherever I happen to drop it). Oh yeah, I am going to ROCK this college thing! Hahahahah! Oy Vey. I have tried to get organized like this but can never do it!!

Reason number three is actually not so bad. I'm freakin out over leaving my baby girl. She will be 4 in February. But I have been a stay at home mom for over 7 years and leaving my kids is like ripping an arm off. Even if it is an arm I don't particularly like 100% of the time. JUST kidding (sorta). I love my kids, being a MOM is my life. But I am at the point where I don't want it to be MY ONLY life. I also don't want to lose the quality time I have with the kiddos. So how do I balance it all and not go crazy? Drink Heavily You Say?! That I can do...

The Anger Tool Box

(Mostly serious & lengthy Blog with some Humor thrown in as a coping mechanism).... Being a parent is tough. There are no manuals, no trouble shooting guides, no repair shop for the things that are "broken". Every pregnant mother, and expecting father, along with their families Pray for one thing (well the good ones do) that the baby is HEALTHY. For all intents and purposes, my son was born "healthy". He didn't have Downs, Didn't have cerebral palsy, no birth defects whatsoever. He was a freakin cute baby(not just being biased). He was an even cuter Toddler. It was when he was a toddler that we started noticing some concerns. He was a TERROR. I'm not talking typical terrible twos here. Just way out there. We thought that maybe it was just us. So we tried to get some help with behavior modifications. Nothing doing. This Psychologist thought maybe he had ADHD. I was diagnosed with this as a teen, and so does half the population of children these days. I was skeptical. And he was not even 3 yet. There was no way I was medicating him. We just dealt. So... Jump forward a few years (a little over 2) to Kindergarten. We kept having problems. Nothing worked. And he just seemed to be getting worse. He is a sweet, loving, funny, outgoing, compassionate kid. But sometimes, he isn't. AT ALL. He is a totally DIFFERENT kid. (Can someone else parent this Other kid I don't know? I want MY kid) Another psyc told us the same thing. Wanted to Medicate. And I was SOOO not down with what he wanted to put him on (after meeting the kid ONCE for 30 mins). Lets just say, we never went back there. Again we dealt. Anyway... UGH. We were told ADHD, Opposition Defiance Disorder... and because of family history, possible Bi-Polar Disorder. No one wanted to diagnose bi-polar on a 6 year old. The testing wasn't conclusive. Blah Blah Blah, Try Meds finally. It helped. A little. It helped the ADHD symptoms, the hyperactivity... The focus. To an extent. Now, we are on Med Number 3. again, it helps. A little. I HATE THIS. I HATE putting his poor scrawny little body through this. But I am at a loss. Now things are getting worse as far as extreme behaviors go. Throwing Chairs (computer chairs) Kicking car windows, biting, death threats, bludgeoning me in the back of the head with a water bottle while I'm driving( NO YOU ARE NOT CHUCK NORRIS dude)... you name it, he's done it. And probably more than you can imagine from a 7 year old. Its looking like NOW after all this time, someone is CLOSE to FINALLY diagnosing him with Bi-Polar. Not an easy thing for a parent to digest. and not only bi-polar, but more, and not sure. Because and I quote "...a tough one. He doesn't FIT into any one category. He has traits from several. He is going to be a hard child to parent" She even brought someone in to double check that he WASN'T autistic because of some of the traits.

*deep Breath* (please feel free to take an intermission and grab a snack. Preferably a cupcake ;)
This is my SWEET BOY. My mamma's boy. The hugger. WTH?!!! It makes me cry. A lot. And here is the thing. When you are in public and things like this happen. The rages, the tantrums, the kicking and screaming and punching. The DIRTY LOOKS don't FREAKIN HELP!! If he was physically disabled, or had an obvious birth defect that someone could see, it would be accepted. You wouldn't look like a crappy parent. One that cant control their kid. People wouldn't say things like "she should get control of her kids". I want to punch those people in the Jugular. Seriously. He cant help it. Its not his fault. It doesn't excuse the behaviors, but what can you do? I think of all the yelling, the punishing, the grounding, the time outs. And I cry. Because all this time we have been expecting him to behave like a "normal" child. Like every other 7 year old we've known. We thought he was just being a pain in the ass. (sorry but that's how we felt). NOW. we have to totally change the way we see our son. How do you do that? How can you change your view of them and what you can expect from them. Lowering behavioral Standards so to speak.
So he is a VERY LITERAL child. He learns by seeing things and having something Tangible to do. I wanted to come up with something for him to do to help control the rages. So I made Him THIS:




Inside it will have a Stress Ball, a book, a DO NOT DISTURB sign, happy pictures of our family, and a Timer, so he can use it to breath and calm himself. Any other suggestions for the box would be welcomed. This is the only thing I could think to do. Anything to help. I hope it works.