Sewing As Stress Relief

This morning with the kids was hellish. I mean downright I wanna run away, or lock myself in the bedroom and never come out, sell my kids on e-bay kind of morning. Ya know what I mean right? It's not only me? *sigh*

Well anyway, I decided to shove both of them in front a TV with a movie and give them coloring books and crayon rolls and snacks. Anything to make them leave me alone while I sew. I've discovered that sewing is very therapeutic. I'm likin it. A lot. I went to the fabric store last night and got some great deals, so I was already itchin to make some stuff. I decided this was the PERFECT time. I made THIS for my little monster. Woops I meant little sweet baby girl.

I'm Pretty Excited about it. I'm going to make me one Just like it sometime today. I can't resist. I mean OBVIOUSLY. It's cupcakes! *CHEESE*

Reverse Roofies

I have come up with a HUGE money maker ladies!!! You know how men think of sex like 300,000 times a day or some ridiculous number of times like that? Ok, so we like it too. Often even, but really? NOT all women have the drive of most men! Soooo REVERSE ROOFIES!! Ya know, when you are making dinner and your Husband (or Boyfriend) can't keep their hands off of you and you really just aren't feeling it? But they don't seem to think that you mean you aren't feeling it? Just Open up a capsule and sprinkle it in his dinner drink, or mix it in his food. Whatever works. For Those of you who are single... take it to the bar with you and slip it to that GUY who you are soooo not into. Once his DRIVE is gone he will probably leave you the hell alone! I'm just thinking that this would be a great thing to have handy. For those moments where you don't feel like feeling guilty for NOT feeling it? (Did ya catch that?) Ok. So, what do you think? Could you ladies use this as much as I could?! Cause I am THIS close to just slippin the man some Ambien or something. *Muuuuaaaaahhhhhh*

P.s. I am not condoning drugging people against their will or without their knowledge. Just sayin....

Trashy Barbie

My Adorable little son and I have been in dire need of a Hair Cut, so I made an appt for the two of us. Printed out a cute picture of Zac Efron for His hair Cut and a pic of Carrie Underwood for mine. While the stylist was cutting his hair she was asking me if I wanted to color my hair. I thought about it. Cause I have been wanting to go back to Blonde for a while now, and that Carrie Pic just make it more appealing. I asked the stylist how many trips it would take to get my hair that color. "Just one" she says. Sweet! I'm in! I love this color!


So she finishes little man's hair and I loved the cut. YAY! Cant wait go get mine started. He has his DS with him so I know he will be fine while I get my hair done too. We talk about what to do and I told her I wanted it as close to Carrie's color as possible. Do whatever you need to. So she asks "You want it blonde all over or do you want low lights?" I tell her I don't really want low lights just blonde. Well, what was in my head and on the picture EVIDENTLY wasn't in hers. Cause she comes back and proceeded to put straight bleach on my head. I started to PANIC. I asked her if maybe we should leave a few strands a little darker in the front so it's not so harsh on my face. My last ditch attempt as saving my hair. Well she haphazardly left out some of my own hair color in "low lights". Ha! Well my hair was developing at a rapid rate, so she finished. After what felt like waaaay to long. Then I sit, for longer. When she is rinsing my hair, she and the owner were oooooing and aaaahhhing over the color and how perfect it turned out and how NOT brassy it was. *Sigh of relief*. I was so glad. I was worried. She told me is was a huge change so don't look until she is done. I agreed. After she cut it and blow dried it I turn around and *GASP* (internally). Holy shit what has she done to my Pretty HAIR?!!!!! My Son likes it (of course). He has likely seen this same color at home. On his sisters BARBIES. Ok, maybe it was worse than that cause Barbie has a better colorist. Mine was YELLOW. And close to WHITE in the BACK where she started. Oh, and the "low lights: almost BLACK in comparison. There were no words. And just for a further visual, I had a BRIGHT pink Shirt on. Barbie. Trailer. Trash. Barbie. The color came out something akin to This:


I paid way too much for what I actually asked her for and yet translated into this horror show of a dye job. Earlier in the Day my curling iron had died, so I was off to Wal-Mart to Buy a new one real quick before going home. I was terrified of going in public like this. I had plugged my dead cell in the car and it rings immediately. It was the hubs. DEMANDING to know where the hell I was. He was nervous cause we were gone waaay longer than it takes for 2 hair cuts. UGH!! Don't mess with me Dude, now is NOT the time. The whole time I was in Wal-Mart I felt like I should be smoking a Cigarette and carrying around my baby in a diaper balanced on my pregnant stomach, fully clothed in a house dress. It was mortifying. So I grabbed a curling iron quickly. The headed to the Hair Color Isle. I know, never process your hair twice in a row. Well SCREW THAT. I bought a kit and payed and rushed home. In my haste i forgot that I would need two so I ended up going back out later on a endless HUNT for another kit. Well I walk in the door and my husband just stares at me. I stare back. "Well, What you think?"... "What do YOU think?" he says. "I Felt like Trailer Trash Barbie Walking through Wal-Mart." This is when I walked in the kitchen with him following me, he hugged me and I started cryin like a little girl. I was so pissed. But Then of course the Male Mind took over and he was a little TOO excited about my trashy hair.

After the Long trip to find another Color Kit, I arrived home about midnight. And dyed my own hair. It helped. A lot. Its not perfect, but its waaaay better than it was. I made sure that I started with the "lowlights" that she did in hopes of trying to even it out a bit. *sigh*. Oh Well, that's what I get. I miss Heather, my old stylist in LA. She never would have jacked up my hair =( Anyway, here is the "after"... meaning "after I fixed it" cause there was no way in hell there would be a photo of me layin around the way it was!

Probably going to be blonde for a few months then back to Dark!! This is a pain in the ASS! I'm Off to ULTA to buy some purple shampoo to counter some of the brassiness. Do they sell toner there?! *sigh*. Oh well, its way better than it was. After this I added some more highlights to make it even better, and it is. The front matches the back a little better now. I'd say never again, but I know it would be a lie.

Oooh the Shame....

So I'm getting ready, took a shower, blow dried my hair, getting ready to put my make-up on while the curling iron is heating up. My Daughter wakes up from her nap and sees me half dressed, and half ready she says: "Where are we going Mamma?"
Hey JUST because I took off the Pajamas and took my hair out of a ponytail and washed my booty, DOES not automatically mean we are LEAVING the house!!! Ok ok, maybe it does. A little. I mean is that the only time I actually make myself presentable? When I am going in public?! I mean I refuse to leave the house without at least mascara (the very least) and my hair must be washed and done. But I do that when we are not going anywhere too. Right? Crap. That's who I have become. The wife who is still in her Jammies when the Money Maker gets home from work. How flippin SAD is that? Because guess what, when little miss perceptive woke up from her nap and asked her question. I was getting ready to go somewhere. My poor husband. Maybe I should try a little harder to be cute when he comes home! But damn, its so nice to shower in PEACE after he gets home... Oh well, guess I will have to sacrifice peace for cuteness/pride. How unfair is it that your 3 year old can shame you?!!

Missing Friends...

Military life. It has its charms, its benefits, its sense of belonging and duty and patriotism.... yada yada. But one thing that I don't think I will ever get used to is leaving friends. The hubs grew up like this, so for him its "normal". For me, not so much. I grew up with the same people my whole life until I joined the Air Force, I am still friends with some of the people I was in 3rd and 4th grade with. So to me, not so normal. When I make a friend, a TRUE friend, I will do pretty much anything for you and we will be friends for a very long time. That's just how I am (or was apparently). Its not easy to settle into a place and create real friendships when you are moving around all the time. ESPECIALLY when you are a Stay At Home Mom, with no flippin LIFE outside your immediate Family. So when you find those friends and you become so close and your daily life almost always includes them, it is so friggen hard to leave them. When you spend Family dinners and Holidays and share milestones and run errands together, it changes part of your life when you leave, or when they do. You will remain friends, even close ones, but its just NOT THE SAME! The one benefit is that the bonds that you create are strong because without Family around, you create your own extended family. So in the end, you have close friends all over the world. Not a bad thing. My Best Friend lives in Italy. And I got to go see her! HOW fantastic is that? I miss Her Dearly though. She is the Ethel to My Lucy. She is the person I can tell EVERYTHING to. The person I would do ANYTHING for. And I would be so happy to live in the SAME STATE at least/
But I miss the Thanksgivings together , the Christmas parties, and the random shopping together, and sharing kids milestones, and even yelling at each others kids like you yell at your own. Because they feel like your family, and why not treat them like it? When we left our Last base, we left our close friends who we called our Step Family because we spent all our time together. How I miss the chaos. I miss their little girl, and I miss the twins. I missed their First Birthday, and their First steps and it kills me. I was looking at her Facebook page and the Pictures of their daughters First Day of Kindergarten. And the pics of the Twins who are now almost 18months old. They look HUGE. And I cried. Because I missed them, and I cried because My BUBS will not know who I am the next time I see him. My Friend Ashley, I miss her honesty and her humor, and I miss venting on the phone and escaping the hectic houses together. Hanging out in each others messy house and not feeling embarrassed because its "just them". I miss having BACKUP!!! Once, we were in Target will all 5 of our kids ( I know, NOT SMART, we should have known) and the kids were TERRIBLE (shocker). And My son, who if you have read my blogs, you know has some issues. Well, all hell broke loose. And I was carrying a screaming kid over my shoulder while pushing a stroller and carrying bags. She was still paying at the register and was following closely behind. This random woman who is coming out of the bathroom, I'll call her "Bitch", Pipes in "SOMEONE needs to get control of her kids". Oh, no, WTH, I HATE THAT. Well, I didn't hear this. But my BACKUP did!! hehehe so Ashley looks at her and says "Mind your F*ing Business! Who the hell are you?! Mom of the F*ing year?". THANK YOU ASHLEY for having my back. Thank you for Not being afraid to cuss out a stranger. After this Target episode we called BOTH of our husbands and demanded they come pick up "their" children. They did, and we continued shopping. In peace. I miss Midnight to 3 am Walmart Trips when the base gate is closed and we have no where else to go.
I digress, Having to leave friends really Bites the Big One. And Today I just found out that they got orders to a base RIGHT BY my awesome in-laws! I'm so freakin Jealous! How awesome would it be to finally live by family. We would have our Real Family and our "Step Family"!! Ugh, I wish we could just move. Damn it.

Since you wanna know...

Here is the Tutorial I used for the Crayon Roll. I got it from Skip to My Lou . This chick is awesome! I love all her creative ideas! Cant wait to make more of her stuff! Good luck Making your own! Your kids will love em!

Check out this APRON giveaway!! I want it...

Sooooo There is a Fantastic Giveaway going on over at The Apron Goddesses. One of my Fav places to visit. Go check it out. The Etsy Seller who makes the Aprons is momomadeit. She has some amazing everyday aprons! This is the one I WANT!!!

Good Luck! (ok not really I want to win! )

Tsk Tsk Tsk....

I have been a very BAD Blogger! Sincere apologies all around to those of you I have yet to respond to, or visit your fab-tastic blogs! Melissa! my dear, I will MOST DEFINITELY be thanking you, RIGHT NOW!! for my awesome AWARD!! Its so cool of you to love me for me. For the fact that I can drop the F Bomb into a blog when the situation calls for it, and that sexual innuendo (or in the case of the blog below, strait out in your face action) is perfectly acceptable to you. You Rock, & Your Comments (and of course your Blog) make me laugh! Thank you! And here is the Award she had bestowed upon me :

You Make me Blush! Ok... not really I don't blush easily, but I do have a big cheeeezy Grin on my face so that counts right? Thanks again my dear!

Now, I have been absent from blogging and even from ROLL-calling on SITS most days. My Mom has been here and we have been busy and having a good time! I have been gazing longingly at my computer now and again, and feel the tug. However the brief moments I could spend on it without feeling rude were about long enough to check e-mail. If you were seriously offended, I'm sorry, but you will probably get over it soon, right?

So this week we went fishing again! This time out on the Row boats. It was a great time and I even caught this BABY!! Woooo hooo! The only fish of any real size caught that day was caught by the MASTER. aka : ME! My very own CATFISH!

He was floppin' all over the friggen place and snapped my line! =) And this guy right here below was all up our butts and seriously wanted snacks. He came right up and grabbed a French Fry directly out of my hand and took a taste of my finger while he was at it! He must have known I was sweet.

Speaking of SWEET, how flippin' precious is this?! I'm going to keep this forever to show them later when they are near murdering one another.

And we have been doing this. Trying to entertain the kids and wear them out so they pass the frig out at bed time! =) I got in too, but I'll spare you all THOSE pics. *shudder*

And I MADE THESE! Figured I would give it a shot! Saw the ones my sis made and I needed to try it out! I had to buy a new sewing machine ($ Cha-ching $) cause mine crapped out after all these years. Of course it would.

Not too shabby for a First try right? Oh and ALICIA, this doesn't get you off the hook for my cupcake one, just sayin'.

Last but not least I made something for my awesome Sis in-law. And Let me just say, I LOOOOOOOOVE IT! I told her she better love it too and that if she doesn't she better PRETEND! I was walking through the store and saw something that immediately made me think of her, so I KNEW what I had to do. I had to bust out some creativity and make her something flippin' awesome. I cant wait to Mail it out TOMORROW! I have some pics of it, so let me share...

HAHAHAH! YEAH RIGHT! NOT gunna happen Alicia! You have to wait chica! And apparently so do the rest of you! I'm off to go exercise with the HUBS so I'm outta here! I will catch up some more tomorrow with all you lovelies =)

Warning: Not For Childrens Eyes

... Well, YOUR children. It's a little too late for mine. Let me start with a little info : My Mother -In-law is originally from El Salvador, and she travels there often to visit family. My Hubby hasn't been there since he was little and she often brings us back little things from there. She is awesome like that. Back a few years ago, he had a specific request. He wanted these trinkets that he remembered, and apparently stuck with him (trust me, you'll see why here in a sec...). The are called Sorpresas (surprises) Here is what they look like :

Cute right? Harmless little hand painted eggs. Wonder whats inside?! My Daughter did too!! So I have these on a shelf, behind glass and I was sitting on the computer (probably on blogger, woops) and she says "Momma, What are they DOING ?", so I look over because I have no idea what she is talking about and this is what I see :

*SURPRISE*

YUP!!! Cute, right?! Not soooo much.
She had this adorable couple off the egg and in her hand.

I'm Speechless for a moment. So she asks again: "Mom!! WHAT ARE THEY doing? " So I respond: "He is rubbing her back baby", "Why Mom?", "Uh um, because her back hurts", "Why Mom?", "I don't KNOW, it just does", "But what are they doing?", "He is rubbing her back"...... Little Miss is in the WHY stage big time so we had to go through this a couple of times. AHHHHH. HE IS JUST RUBBING HER BACK!!! lol I didn't yell at her really, I did however stress the importance of NOT getting into that cabinet because things are breakable! *shakes head*, I mean really. Of all the things for her to see. I'm really hoping that she forgets about them!! I didn't want my lovely Mom-In Law to miss out on the milestone, so I called her to tell her what went down. And to thank her for such a sweet moment. She thought it was pretty freakin hilarious!! (ok it kinda was). She is sure that it will be forgotten. We'll see if the little SPONGE that is my daughter mentions it again. So thanks to the dirty adolescent mind of my hubby (who OBVIOUSLY didn't forget about them), his Moms generosity, and my Blogger Addiction , my daughter has a totally screwed up idea of what a back rub looks like!!!

My HOUSE Smells flippin disgusting!!

UGH!! Crap. So my son (the one who NEVER eats) wants meat balls!! Wooo hoo! I'm on it buddy! So I get them outta the freezer, and decided not to cook them in the oven but to microwave them so they were done before he changed his mind! I followed the directions. Just like last time. Well something went horribly wrong. Because all of a sudden my house fills with smoke and there is this SMELL!!!! Raunchy, nasty, foul, vomit inducing smell. I open the microwave, and to my dismay, release even more foul smelling smoke. Well. There are meatballs. Who have shrunk and shriveled to a third of their original size. And are now the consistency of rocks. GUH!!! Are you serious? My kid was going to eat something fairly good for him, and you tell me its RUINED?! They were the last ones too! Flippin A! Now the Range Hood is on Full Blast, the back door is wide open and all the ceiling fans are spinning wildly. I have the sneaking suspicion that the little sister added some more time to that microwave. I don't make mistakes like that ever. I mean, I'm totally perfect, error free. And she WAS in the kitchen. Yup, must have been her fault. And to add to it, she was walking around the house naked, and all of a sudden she brings me a purple Dahlia. "Awww thank.... Oh wait. Um. your NAKED! And you WENT OUTSIDE?!!!" ... *you have got to be kidding me!* WOW. just wow. Hubby is for sure going to come home from work, walk through the door and say :" The house smells like ass". I can see the face now. Probably because I am making the same one. *vomit*

The Friend has returned....

For all of you who read my DEAR "FRIEND" blog, and are wondering if she decided to return... After 4 of these:




And one Trip to the LAB for a blood test, and many many days and nights of panic and fear that I will soon have a price on my head, she came back. I promised I wouldn't curse her, but I swear if she is ever that late again we are going to have problems!! I mean she skipped a WHOLE visit. NOT COOL. not freakin cool. Now I just need to figure out what the deal is. And can I just say, THANK YOU GOD?! I mean now, I for SURE don't have to give up wine. Now I can walk down the stairs in front of my loving husband without having to brace myself for the Shove!! That was a close one! Even My son woke up one morning saying that he had a nightmare... a bad one. That I was going to have another baby!! So I guess we know how this family feels about an addition (at least for the foreseeable future)!! My husband envisions me playing hockey and plummeting down the stairs... and my son loses sleep. So I'm off to drink some more wine and avoid any and all photos of my sweet children as babies!