Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Missing Friends...

Military life. It has its charms, its benefits, its sense of belonging and duty and patriotism.... yada yada. But one thing that I don't think I will ever get used to is leaving friends. The hubs grew up like this, so for him its "normal". For me, not so much. I grew up with the same people my whole life until I joined the Air Force, I am still friends with some of the people I was in 3rd and 4th grade with. So to me, not so normal. When I make a friend, a TRUE friend, I will do pretty much anything for you and we will be friends for a very long time. That's just how I am (or was apparently). Its not easy to settle into a place and create real friendships when you are moving around all the time. ESPECIALLY when you are a Stay At Home Mom, with no flippin LIFE outside your immediate Family. So when you find those friends and you become so close and your daily life almost always includes them, it is so friggen hard to leave them. When you spend Family dinners and Holidays and share milestones and run errands together, it changes part of your life when you leave, or when they do. You will remain friends, even close ones, but its just NOT THE SAME! The one benefit is that the bonds that you create are strong because without Family around, you create your own extended family. So in the end, you have close friends all over the world. Not a bad thing. My Best Friend lives in Italy. And I got to go see her! HOW fantastic is that? I miss Her Dearly though. She is the Ethel to My Lucy. She is the person I can tell EVERYTHING to. The person I would do ANYTHING for. And I would be so happy to live in the SAME STATE at least/
But I miss the Thanksgivings together , the Christmas parties, and the random shopping together, and sharing kids milestones, and even yelling at each others kids like you yell at your own. Because they feel like your family, and why not treat them like it? When we left our Last base, we left our close friends who we called our Step Family because we spent all our time together. How I miss the chaos. I miss their little girl, and I miss the twins. I missed their First Birthday, and their First steps and it kills me. I was looking at her Facebook page and the Pictures of their daughters First Day of Kindergarten. And the pics of the Twins who are now almost 18months old. They look HUGE. And I cried. Because I missed them, and I cried because My BUBS will not know who I am the next time I see him. My Friend Ashley, I miss her honesty and her humor, and I miss venting on the phone and escaping the hectic houses together. Hanging out in each others messy house and not feeling embarrassed because its "just them". I miss having BACKUP!!! Once, we were in Target will all 5 of our kids ( I know, NOT SMART, we should have known) and the kids were TERRIBLE (shocker). And My son, who if you have read my blogs, you know has some issues. Well, all hell broke loose. And I was carrying a screaming kid over my shoulder while pushing a stroller and carrying bags. She was still paying at the register and was following closely behind. This random woman who is coming out of the bathroom, I'll call her "Bitch", Pipes in "SOMEONE needs to get control of her kids". Oh, no, WTH, I HATE THAT. Well, I didn't hear this. But my BACKUP did!! hehehe so Ashley looks at her and says "Mind your F*ing Business! Who the hell are you?! Mom of the F*ing year?". THANK YOU ASHLEY for having my back. Thank you for Not being afraid to cuss out a stranger. After this Target episode we called BOTH of our husbands and demanded they come pick up "their" children. They did, and we continued shopping. In peace. I miss Midnight to 3 am Walmart Trips when the base gate is closed and we have no where else to go.
I digress, Having to leave friends really Bites the Big One. And Today I just found out that they got orders to a base RIGHT BY my awesome in-laws! I'm so freakin Jealous! How awesome would it be to finally live by family. We would have our Real Family and our "Step Family"!! Ugh, I wish we could just move. Damn it.

13 comments:

  1. Hey, ladybug! Guess what?!? I'm an Army brat... I grew up moving every 2-3 years. I could never keep a "best friend", I went to about 10 different schools, lived in about 15 different homes... I know EXACTLY what you are feeling like/going through. In my adult life, it was just soooo refreshing to finally stay put for a while. I just don't like to move anymore. Anywhere. Ever! My folks retired here and we live 7 houses down from them. I wouldn't have it any other way! We have all settled down and very happy together here now. In a sense, we are very lucky... some people never get to travel outside of their own neighborhoods. I've been all over the world. It sucked when I was younger, but now, looking back. It was all worth it! And, in the military, it's a very small world... you'll be amazed at all of the ppl you'll run into again!! Oh, and the target lady?! Good girl! Your friend spoke my thoughts exactly! Good for her!!!!! Stupid B**** needed to be put in her place! Big hugs to you and those wonderful friends that, really, you'll never lose!!!! They'll always be there. Don't worry, girlie! :)

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  2. I hope it gets better! I also hope you are having a true lazy (feed the kids) day! Stopping by from SITS!

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  3. I know exactly how you feel! Being an military brat, I didn't have my first real best friend until I became a military wife. And now, after being super close to her for years and moving, it feels so different. Yet, I try my hardest to cling to how it was.

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  4. Aww girl! That totally made me cry! I miss my step fam more than words can express. Adam and I talk about yall daily and hope that one day we can be neighbors again. I do think that true friends will remain close to our hearts forever and that the memories that we have will last a lifetime. I cannot wait to spend time together again! As I was reading your blog, you left out a few of our escapades! Remember the night that we went to Superiors and had like 2 Guava Margaritas a piece and you were looking at that book of naked ladies! HAHA (and I was drunk dialing...OOPPSS!!) And what other crazy women would WILLINGLY drop their husbands off and pick them up at a freaking titty bar?!?! We are the coolest wives ever!! lol You and my 2nd hubby and the kiddos will forever be a part of my family and I love all of you!!! MWAH!!

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  5. My dad was in the military when he and my mom first got married. He was promoted to a higher rank, living off base (but everyone in that town was in the military). He found himself living next door to someone who was beneath him in rank. He was brought in and told that he wasn't allowed to socialize with his neighbor...it could provide a conflict of interest or some such. It's just tough because you're already so isolated...and now they limit you as to whom you can communicate? That was back in the late 60s, though, so it may have changed by now.

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  6. Goodness this must be so awful to take sometimes. I am not one who has many close personal friends but just a few really good ones and that's about it. Lots of acquaintances. To have to up and move all the time would be so hard. I was just thinking that my son is getting to go to kindergarten with his friend from preschool and how nice it was they had eachother to start the new year with. Sigh...

    But I think I would have murdered the bitchy lady in Target. Your friend RULES!!!

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  7. thank you for stating exactly how i feel! i am in the same boat. My hubs grew up in the military life but it is a total new ball game for me and it is hard! I miss being around all my family and friends too..especially when they all get to be together! Oh and that lady in target was just plain mean! Just so you know your not alone :)

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  8. Oh, it's not easy! My neighbor's little girl is only 19 months old and she skypes with her grandparents every morning at bkfst. Not the same as being there, but... (hugs!)

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  9. I can only imagine how hard that must be. My friends are my family. If I had to move right now, I'd be racking up the frequent flyer miles!

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  10. awwww i'm sorry love!! that's one part of growing up i can live without now! tell ashley that i will be her back up until you can come out here and hang! just pack up and bring the kids out! now all of us together...could you IMAGINE?! In-friggin-sanity!! i love you girl....and i LOVE my awesome gift!! i can't wait to post all about it!! SERIOUSLY AMAZING!!!

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  11. Awww...sad! I'm horrible at making friends...I'm pretty sure I'd be miserable!

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  12. Hello
    By the good I see your banners. Well done.
    I blog over to try and comment about it I have.

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